I hate making excuses for those moments in life that go wrong. They happened to teach us a lesson, a moment of reckoning, and it is up to us to try and interpret its meaning. Or at least try to understand it anyways. We can’t go back to correct an incident but we can use it to bring some light into our lives. We can’t remain forever in the darkness when we have only been granted this one chance to live.
I panic all the time waiting for what’s to come next as I try to understand where it is I am supposed to go. There is just a few thoughts that bother my brain in an almost obsessive of way but I can’t change anything from the past. With every day that passes it could be the last so I have to love on myself like I am the only one in the world.
My husband always tells me I can’t change the world. That may be true but I refuse to remain complacent in it. It is so easy to just take a deep breath and walk away. I could. I am not directly connected to all this. My mom and dad were always safe in their childhood and I believe they had no knowledge of what was happening in residential schools. When a whole country is left oblivious to the level of genocide that the powers of be committed it is up to us to pick up the moral pieces and find a way to heal.
In and amongst the chaos all I hear is white noise. I don’t have much in common with the outside world anymore. My heart beats a little bit differently. Scarred from the loss of innocent lives throughout time their haunting whispers move through me.
These days there is not too much in the ways of intellectual conversation. My son is 3 and everybody else only communicates with me by showing me their love. There should be surprises that I have found a way to acquire my farm without even having to leave the city limits. In fact my husband…