These holy men believed they were doing God’s work when they beat, starved, molested and God only knows what else to our beautiful Indigenous babes. They wanted to kill the “Indian” inside of them. That is the work of the devil and pure evil who could even distort such thinking in these ways yet we do nothing and sit and silence and let their ancestors pick at their graves. Oh don’t worry it is ok we are giving them their own holiday just to say sorry. Is that how we value the human experience and nothing more. I can’t live this way so oblivious to others. How is it that we all wanted to get here so fast with no regards to the actual cost?
Think of the girl we were born to be, before the world got to cold and took our smile away. There had to be a way to set aside those that understood my journey and to them I didn’t need to keep explaining. They didn’t roll their eyes and say, “OMG not another MLM vomit”, no my VIP’s greeted me with open arms and I could hear their cheer even when I had shut the blinds and pulled the blanket over my eyes and begged for the darkness of night to take my cheer away. These women came and celebrated my victories and heard my cries and said let’s host another Nail Bar, let’s do what you love doing, let’s celebrate beauty and sisterhood and all the things that you stand for and all the things that you were born to do.
“Blow your brains out. Eat all the pills.” Your life is worthless to all those around you. Do us all a favour and say goodbye. These words have always been a part of my life in some shape or form. I am tired of those around me trying to impose their wishes that involves me paying the ultimate price. I remember trying to kill myself at 13 when I found out my boyfriend at the time was sleeping with his cousin.
It makes no difference if you are a man or a mouse unless you are the mouse because you are incapable of being strong enough or big enough to ever defeat a man. Unless of course Mother Nature get’s sick of mans sh*t and unleashes another plague. All that should show you is, it does pay to do the right thing in the end.
People are capable of really bad things and I learned early on it is best not to ask questions. If you don’t ask anything you don’t know. Nobody can tax you or make you pay retribution for something in your mind that doesn’t even exist. You can’t rat on an associate if you know nothing. If you run with bad people make sure of that.
UN Human Development Index for Indigenous people Canada ranks #48 yet for everybody else in Canada the index is 8. Did you know that racism amongst our Indigenous communities is the norm, not the exception with 46% living OFF the reserve having been a victim of racism or discrimination. “Initially, Canada refused to endorse the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples, which is an instrument established to ensure the individual and collective rights of indigenous peoples.” For a peace loving nation that prides themselves on being inclusive and multiculturalism why wouldn’t we want to protect our most valuable asset? If we are truly ashamed of what is now being brought into light why aren’t we trying to do better?
Ignorance is bliss unless you want to be empowered. You can’t claim not knowing for every little thing. The true way to heal and bond in the way that life was meant to be is to stop feeding into the lies and pave your own way. Yes it is easier to do what we have already been conditioned to believe but in doing so I fail to feel and I fail to truly breathe. I want to feel all the things the good, bad and the ugly. If others had to endure this incredible pain then I want to do what I can to disperse it.
I figured out my place now, at least I think. Why should I carry the shame of what was done to you as it wasn’t done at my hand. Please let me kneel down before you and say how truly sorry that I am that this was all done to you. No disrespect. No impeding in your space at all in fact I want to honour you. I know I can’t instantly snap my fingers and make it all better. We were all lied to at one time. But the lies told to me gave you a future and the ones told to you were just a game.
Compassion doesn’t work that way and life is supposed to love and heal. Imagine living back then only to find out that humans are even more grotesque than they have ever been before. We are stuck in this loop of working our fingers to the bone to fund our terrorists who are here right now dancing and laughing on holy soil with our brothers and sisters being the meal that replenishes the Earth. You have to change everything you have ever done before and stand tall in your own pile of sh*t. Are you truly authentic or are you living a life on display for others to appreciate and understand?
My dreams are quick becoming my living nightmare. I am horrified by such outlandish disregard for human life, for somebody’s children, for the future they robbed us all from. Who could we have been if we embraced each other at first sight and learned to thrive together before banishing so and so from this here land never to be seen or heard from again.