This hurts alot more than it should. At least alot more than I care to admit. If I don’t get these feelings out of me it is going to eat me up alive. Did you ever wonder what it would feel like if nobody loved you, recognized you, cared for you or even appreciated if you were around. This has become my living nightmare as I transition through day to day.
There is only so much a housewife can take before she snaps back and loses her mind. To stay in control or to lose my mind. One sounds so utterly delicious and the other so common, so mundane. I played by the rules of this game and found myself nowhere, not even close. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Maybe it’s time to mix things up again before this housewife finds herself going insane.
I just keep hoping for a miracle that maybe one day things can change. I think where he gets confused is I don’t keep the house clean for him it is for me. The same goes for the way I decide to look or the fact I want to eat healthy or exercise it is all for me. I just have to regard him as that pesky annoying fly on the wall. The one who can care less if I do anything at all.
I have spent so much time staring in I no longer recognize that I am not included. I have learned to be kind and gentle to myself because that is always needed. And I learned more than likely when you do the right thing and you are scared of sticking out that that is when you find yourself as the odd one out.
Letting me know that he only has to invest just enough to make him happy. Nothing more nothing less. Nothing makes a human being crazier than a lack of human touch.