I think that is why so many people think I am crazy or why I can so easy bring a tear to my eye. I know what it feels like to live broken and have those closest to you hate you so much you wish you could die. Instead of having a family that was supposed to love me I was treated like garbage and thrown away. I am sorry I was forced to endure this pain it is something that lives inside of me still to this day.
Tag: #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #selfcare #depression #selflove #love #mentalhealthmatters #health #wellness #motivation #covid #mindfulness #therapy #mentalillness #fitness #healing #li
High Standards
Do you have high standards? Maybe I should start with standards. Do you have any standards or do you just let anybody get in close to you? Imagine the damage that can be done if your secrets were told to the wrong people. Would they be there for you or would they turn their back and run?
Highly Charged and Overly Emotional
I feel for those who did nothing more than being born then they are forced to live a life that not many would wish their worst enemy ever to endure. When kindness and compassion can be the emotion that reins supreme it never ceases to amaze me how others will chose to be.
I Don’t Want To Change
I finally get what people say when they don’t want anybody to change them. I feel like my husband is not able to accept me for who I am because he is incapable of loving me through all my emotional damage. Instead of telling me it will be ok and giving me a hug when I am manic he insults me and makes fun of me. Basically he just keeps pushing me further away.
The Damage Is Done
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it but this relationship is damaged beyond repaired. The more things that are said out of anger are pushing me to a place where I can never forgive and honestly I don’t care. I began returning him the favour but I can see now how damaging that would be for our son. All I want is for him to see that we can be grown and act responsible he is seeing far too much for such a little kid.
Imagine An Existence
Imagine having to hear over and over again how pathetic you are and how you failed in all the ways. Imagine an existence where you are told your value is virtually worthless as they look down their nose at you and turn away. Imagine an existence where you are made to believe that you are a free loading nut whose value is tarnished, nobody else could ever want you so it is best if you just stay put.
Knocked Down a Level
.Hell has no fury than a lover scorned but what happens when they don’t like you? Well the 110% truth and reality is you have two choices and once you have made yours what right do you have to complain. Am I right? Because that is what I keep telling myself when I notice that nothing is ever going to change.
Why I Write
During this time of incredible uncertainty I think my friends and family will have no question I am who I said I am. I write in the hopes of providing better for my family to inspire others to open up about there journey and do what feels right.
Final Say
Since I was very young I was forced to talk to a therapist which I never understood because they knew nothing at all about me. More to that they had no idea about the experiences I have gone through so how would they know how I felt and how these experiences made me to be.
Becoming Collateral Damage
How long would you wait in the hopes that the school that your son is attending will do right by him? How long would you wait listening to how a class of all girls and one boy doesn’t matter? I never taught him about cops and robbers or bad guys and Indians (sorry about the term he never learned that one from me) but that is how he wants to play instead of always being the daddy.
Miss Ruby Sweet Cheeks 
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