Imagine a time when we weren’t up each others backside and how less neurotic we would all be. The constant competition between each other makes it so I can’t breathe. So I don’t. Not in this World anyways, I breathe life into the next. I prepare myself for a love that is not coming to me during my stay this time around.
Dance like no one is watching to the music in your heart and in the first time in a long while take a deep, cleansing breath and exhale. We have all had a lot of one on one time, depending on where you reside in the world, and coming out the haze on the other side we either like who we have become or we detest our own being. Either way this is who we have defined ourselves to be. We have either grown content in living a lie or we have found a way to embrace our truth. The road may have been difficult but once out the other side things don’t seem all that bad.
And if it is really a try if I am consistent and passionate and maybe just maybe I can share this passion with the rest of the world. It feeds my drive for being more sustainable and why is more sustainable than finding my own income? I am passionate about looking my best and helping every other human on this planet feel the same way. If there is a reward in sharing that passion don’t we all deserve to do so? I mean we all hate the pushy sales people but I am almost certain I can hit all my goals with my purchases alone so why wouldn’t I do it? This opportunity does make me feel a little like a fish out of the water being all super glam and all but maybe this is what this company needs an injection of full on glamour to feed the 1950’s housewife in me and begin to live free.
When this choice presented itself to me it was a no brainer, but has now left me dazed and confused as the idea of reopening that cesspool of worms that had me logging off of Facebook in the first place. To be real it actually triggers me greatly signing myself up again to be subject to all that negativity and bullying abuse.
When others make some believe that their existence is trivial or below the other we fail to open our heart as a compassionate human would. Why would we all differ so much in our character when our very existence is dependent upon being able to rely on other beings. Living broken is the biggest ironic trait that we all get to experience.
The people who get under my skin are the ones who will say anything just to be mean. They like to poke, poke, poke, poke until you finally explode and they win. You can tell by their style and their demeanour that their goal for the day is to make you feel insecure and to somehow alter your seemingly perfect day. Except for the days aren’t perfect are they? It feels like a lifetime has gone by since they have been.
There is no escaping the fear that comes when those in your life are content in beating you to death with your own fears. I know what I hate about myself and you do too. Why do you have to use it against me like you just found out how to use the ultimate tool. Behaviour like this just turns me off and pushes me far off farther to the side.
So maybe exercising my mind is trivial and I don’t need to dive into the lives of others that have happened before I was ever born. What would prove to be more beneficial? Getting to a place where I can bench press my body weight or trying to understand the torturous life path that others were faced to endure? Is there more value in trying to understand why some would take the lives of others in their hands and crush them to dust in their palms?
My life has slowed down dramatically and all my focus has been turned inwards. Not just on my well being but the well being of my family. The exhaustion that comes from such a hectic life is rewarded handsomely by the unconditional love that those in my care provide. Of course I have boundaries and set realistic limits but nothing drives me more than trying to make them all happy.
It’s like none of us ever existed. He washed his hands free. He has nothing to do with any of us. He hates us all for whoever is watching to see. I can’t imagine a woman who would shun her mates family. Painting them evil so you end up focusing on her white trash instead. The apples don’t fall far from the tree. How can your offspring be content in not wondering who this mysterious man in their life.