In his smile I see every child that has ever taken a breath before and I thank the heavens that I get to squeeze his cute lil chin and his even sweeter cheruby little cheeks. My purpose here on this Earth as never been so clear. I am merely a servant, protector of human entities that need a chance to be healed. Follow your passion, follow your dreams is what whispers to me everyday. I want to feel connected to the blood that was spilled. I need Mother Earth to know I care.
When I first got married I was so excited for all the home packed work lunches complete with love notes, a clean house, dinner on the table and snuggles and kisses before bed. I haven’t been hugged (well side hugs not included) since our wedding day. And the last kiss I remember feeling would fall into about the same. I miss laughing with someone and sharing a smile or too. I wish for a miracle but I know that is just moo. Not in my reality not even for a day. For now I will just keep on keeping to myself I truly have nothing more to say.
Our lives are intertwined and then we become nothing for no reason? No something is at work much deeper here and it sucks all the more because I can feel it. Every fiber of my being begins to stand on edge and take notice. Are we as a race that heartless? is the almighty dollar really that more important? Than human life and love and freedom and laughter. We snuff it all without caring. We do it all without thinking. We don’t care who that somebody is that we are squashing underneath our feet. As long as it is not somebody we care about right? but what about if it were me?
How is it individually we can see the errors of our ways but when it comes to the powers that be they just turn their heads and close their eyes and hold their breaths waiting for more of us to die. The truth is out there so let’s maim and destroy it. This is the haunting cries from all generations now it’s time we even out the score. Not with malicious intent or purposes designed to hurt. It comes from being real. It takes rising out of the dirt.
I feel way too much and that’s what drove me to drugs and just needing to feel numb for just a little bit. The problem with an empath is we are to busy feeling others energies and then all of a sudden it is ours being ignored. I just want to live happy enjoying my family and friends. Is that too much to ask in this world, I think sometimes it is.
From as young as we can remember it was go to school and be nice and make lots of friends. That is all fine and dandy unless you are the shy kid in the room then everything seems personal. I grew up on a farm where chicken were our friends we didn’t need to find a way to communicate it just happened and it just was, now you have to add in a variety of different personalities and flavors and let the mix decide. Children can be mean but adults are meaner. Children are still trying to find out there place in world where adults have already given up and assumed. It still bothers me that some I knew from high school hate me and I have no idea why. We aren’t the same children that we were.
We have to start enjoying our journey and anything we can do to correct our course. Bad storms do happen and we can weather on thru them but we have to be humble when we ask for some repairs and support. Not all will understand us and that is ok to leave them somewhere waiting in our dust.
We are all out here struggling but we have been conditioned to believe that we should be ashamed. It wasn’t nature that made us this way but the expectations that were handed down onto us forever scarring us from the inside out. I was just a little girl until adulthood struck me forcing me to make decisions that I couldn’t even understand. There are so many of us forming nodes that make it impossible to know our real intentions until later in life. It is impossible to heal from trauma in a world that would rather medicate than acknowledge.
You don’t know the strength it takes for some of us to reach out especially if we have been bitten one too many times. I don’t bite, (ok maybe just a little) I am more concerned with the feelings being harboured and if I can help you release some of the weight. Your life is not the burden, what others made you believe is. Believe in yourself again and you will see the simplistic beauty in the world.
I am not in it for the money. I am in it to give back to my family financially because my beauty routine is a little extravagant. I am not saying I am not worth it, I know that I am I just would rather have money for extra extravagant things, cuz we only live once don’t you think? Let’s live happy together and build a community. Tell me what makes your soul sing so we can manifest it together. We are brought into this life alone and we exit the same so let’s build an empire of happiness together by loving and supporting all that we do.