Day 26: Say No

When you are confident in your existence and where you are heading you don’t deplete your energy willy nilly you do so with full intention you do it slow and steady. We all want to build an empire but we don’t want to put in the work. For most nothing comes easy except life, death and taxes that is who most of us allowed our summary to read. I dare to outstretch my mind and dreams as far as they can span and I will do so accordingly. It isn’t a race and no one will win so use your time wisely and say no when you can.

A Death in the Family

My promise I made to myself when trying to fulfill this life was to never turn my back on that passing, their moment in time. If given the opportunity to ease in their travels from this realm to the next, I would consider it a great honour to be the one to hold you in your arms and tell you goodbye. Nobody should have to leave this Earth feeling so unloved and that is what will happened if I keep on this course that I am on. I am going to use this pain to start taking more risks. Life only happens once and it is over in a blink of an eye. One year you are married the next year you die.

Day 25: Unfollow Negative Accounts

The ones that are toxic and poisonous and have nothing great to say. If they don’t celebrate you and you don’t celebrate them, then it is “Hasta La Vista Baby”, and send them on their way. Once you give up on me I no longer see you, not even when you see my star shining and yours is still dull. I would have sang your praises and taken you along for the ride, then you clicked and unfollowed forcing my hand in saying goodbye. I don’t like negative attention and I sure don’t like those in it for there 5 seconds a fame. For me I am in it for the long haul I got a life to prove and I will live it my own way.

Day 24: Let Them Eat Cake

What is mine is mine but if it makes you happier I will share all my posessions with you. What I value more than anything is a kindred heart and spirit, a loyal friend, an ally and those gems are worth their weight in gold. Those people I will cheer on endlessly and for them I will always have an extra spoon.

Day 23: Do Something Outside

My fear before self discovery was leaving the house and be the subject of rude stares and ridicule. There is something about a well dressed lady that serves like nails scratching on a black board instead of being more welcoming. I dress to be welcoming and maybe to appear like I have a level head. The idea that I have to hide that part of me in order to be friendly just gets on my nerves. Outside is to peoply with a high chance of aggravation when you find yourself in the wrong company.

Day 21: 5 Minute Meditation

You attract blessings by being a blessing and by putt your best energy forward. People say to just let life be and enjoy the present moment. You can do that and at the same time look for something a bit more comfortable. The present moment is only present in that very moment before it becomes history. There is value in the past, there has to be, if only we knew what to focus on and of course where to look.

Day 20: Write Out Every Feeling

The building blocks to a life well lived usually start from there. To nurture those in our family is to give them our unconditional love and support. What is missing from my life is a cheerleader, somebody to help me up when I fall down. Without a husband who cares and loves me I am just a middle aged lady growing cold.

Day 19: Compliment Someone

Inside every single one of us we have the power to make somebody a great day. If you don’t believe me try it. Notice something about somebody else. Their shoes, socks, earrings, how cute their accent is. There is a million reasons to be nice to somebody today and only one reason why you wouldn’t. (that one reason being because you are an asshole…enough said.)

Day 18: Cross Something Off Your To-Do List

There was never a guarantee that after 30 days my anxiety and depression would instantly lift. In fact I find myself struggling more than ever. It feels like I am in the eye of the storm struggling to grab a hold of something before reality breaks off and I am lost into oblibion. Never to be seen again.

May Delete Later

This hurts alot more than it should.  At least alot more than I care to admit. If I don’t get these feelings out of me it is going to eat me up alive. Did you ever wonder what it would feel like if nobody loved you, recognized you, cared for you or even appreciated if you were around. This has become my living nightmare as I transition through day to day.