Imagine a time when we weren’t up each others backside and how less neurotic we would all be. The constant competition between each other makes it so I can’t breathe. So I don’t. Not in this World anyways, I breathe life into the next. I prepare myself for a love that is not coming to me during my stay this time around.
Compassion doesn’t work that way and life is supposed to love and heal. Imagine living back then only to find out that humans are even more grotesque than they have ever been before. We are stuck in this loop of working our fingers to the bone to fund our terrorists who are here right now dancing and laughing on holy soil with our brothers and sisters being the meal that replenishes the Earth. You have to change everything you have ever done before and stand tall in your own pile of sh*t. Are you truly authentic or are you living a life on display for others to appreciate and understand?
I feel way too much and that’s what drove me to drugs and just needing to feel numb for just a little bit. The problem with an empath is we are to busy feeling others energies and then all of a sudden it is ours being ignored. I just want to live happy enjoying my family and friends. Is that too much to ask in this world, I think sometimes it is.
I don’t want to waste my life when others were so hopeful. Doesn’t that seem absolutely ridiculous when you think about it. I don’t like my appearance I live in a time when I can change it. I can cut and dye my hair, tatty up my skin to hide my scars, I can pierce and brand my body till my hearts content because that is what was rewarded to me by my ancestors laying down their lives for my freedom and sins. I could have lived my own dreams but I was to scared to dream them. Wasting away the days until I am finally free.
Dance like no one is watching to the music in your heart and in the first time in a long while take a deep, cleansing breath and exhale. We have all had a lot of one on one time, depending on where you reside in the world, and coming out the haze on the other side we either like who we have become or we detest our own being. Either way this is who we have defined ourselves to be. We have either grown content in living a lie or we have found a way to embrace our truth. The road may have been difficult but once out the other side things don’t seem all that bad.
When you are confident in your existence and where you are heading you don’t deplete your energy willy nilly you do so with full intention you do it slow and steady. We all want to build an empire but we don’t want to put in the work. For most nothing comes easy except life, death and taxes that is who most of us allowed our summary to read. I dare to outstretch my mind and dreams as far as they can span and I will do so accordingly. It isn’t a race and no one will win so use your time wisely and say no when you can.
My fear before self discovery was leaving the house and be the subject of rude stares and ridicule. There is something about a well dressed lady that serves like nails scratching on a black board instead of being more welcoming. I dress to be welcoming and maybe to appear like I have a level head. The idea that I have to hide that part of me in order to be friendly just gets on my nerves. Outside is to peoply with a high chance of aggravation when you find yourself in the wrong company.
We let too many people get away with murder as we tiptoe gingerly away! My feet will never grow tired of walking towards good people. Those same feet never skip a step when running away from the bad ones either no matter how high the heels or the distance I might have to go. I dare to love all differently with kindness and the upmost respect. I dare to live life differently no matter the hate or shade that I have been accustomed to expect.
In my life I want to play the part of someone who is glamorous, living for all the years that I was living like I was not. My wardrobe was work out clothes and the odd punch of dress-up a lady needed an outfit to be seen in didn’t she? I had spent more than enough time in day old sweats and now that I am older it is just something I can no longer be. I love to feel like a lady should especially when I think about how much history and passion has gone into years of self discovery. Not just for me but women over centuries.
Where others had dreams and wishes that were never brought into fruition don’t we owe it to them and ourselves to give it our best shot? Come hell or hot water don’t be scared to throw yourself out there I know somebody who will catch you and that person is me. Be honest with me and you have a friend for life. Come honest with yourself and you just may save your life.