The Beginning

I was talking to a gal pal when it became quite clear how isolated and how much pain she was actually going through on a day to day basis. You see she is only she when she looks deep into her heart. He is who she sees in the mirror and who the world dictates him to be. The pain this beautiful woman is going through is preventing her from being able to open her heart and see that there is a world that truly loves her and accepts her for everything she is. Unfortunately like all too many have found themselves staring into the eyes of evil.
Right then I realized that I had also faced a very chilling experience. There was one major difference. Where I was able to find my way and work through my pain with the support of family and friends. Her experience was far darker as she had noone to really share her storey with. As I sit here I realized that there are probably a million more stories that are exactly like this of every gender, sexual orientation, race, religion you name it. The one thing in common that all of the victims play was a kind sweet natured character that only believes that there could be good in the world. Our people like this deserve our fullest attention. They are willing to love when they really should be disgusted. They keep faith in mankind even when mankind has failed them. Even when their family has finally turned their backs they find a way to still open their hearts and try to give them unconditional love. What I was hearing explained why she still lived in fear. She wasn’t even accepted into the world so how can she ever move past what had happened.
Everybody out there no matter what you are going through I can be that ear for you. You may think that my life is oh so sweet but let me tell you it was a battle to get here. What I had on my side was a very strong family centre where I was loved unconditionally no matter what dead end path I turned down. I lost a real good job at the bank lived pay cheque to pay cheque. Scraping to get by some days I would eat only ichiban noodles. I declared bankruptcy, I got abused, I even got told I deserved an assault because of the clothes I wear. I was ashamed to be a woman, to smile, to be happy, to let the world see the real me. I had to build up this fortress of fire and hate to keep the good out. Everything I was around disingrated. I drink alcohol to chase the demons away, I did drugs to bring the demons back. I literally lost my way, had nothing but a sleeping bag and my kitten and slept on the floor while I was trying to start building a new life. You need to know that I believe in you. I know the pain of thinking that I was never going to meet the right guy and have a family. When I hit 35 it was panick central. I totally dated alot of douchebags out of fear of never meeting my potential children. Knowing what I know now I couldn’t imagine a more perfect son. Me and my husband are not on the right path but I hope that maybe one day we can find our way back. My life has done a dramatic 360 change since the day I met Jeffrey. Everything can change in a heartbeat if you just believe. I can believe in your dream for you to give you the courage you need to begin to see it in yourself. I can promise you, you are definetly worth any dream, risk, shot worth taking. Everyday I push myself out of my comfort zone. Even know I hope to inspire or encourage any of you to reach out. This world is a great place if we cold all slow down and take in a moment. Realizing we are all in this together and we will all end up in the same place. I think that gives us a reason to at least try to get through this together in a positive, uplifting place ❤

Photo Courtesy of Gary Keay