Energy. Feel the energy in the room. Feel the shift deepen and lengthen dependent upon the beings that come across this space in this moment of time. Resonate the truth of love you want other’s to feel from you and let that become your guiding point home. Everything I have wrote about before was a reflection of my own short comings and no more.
Life in it’s entirety will never ever make sense. Not to us. Not in this lifetime. The most we can hope for is an existence that brings us some sort of peace right up to the bitter end.Time why are you so unforgiving on your relentless path? Can’t you give us some sort of inkling of what is to come then revealing yourself to us when it is far too late. The flurry of emotions that threatens to suffocate us finally flees us till there is nothing left. Shallow shells of all we used to be up to and including the day we take our last breath.
Life takes you for a ride and it challenges the purest of intentions. We all start out hoping that we will become all that we can be don’t we? What child thinks I want to grow up to be a drunk, unemployed loser or live forever alone when I am older or be laughed at and shunned until you go away. We never imagine a life of isolation until we get there then the woes set in and the oh what happened to me? When children get lost in their adult form there is no greater sin. They forget about what it means to be human and what it takes to make their heart sing.
Happy Birthday Miss Betty and thank you for your light. It makes my heart a little bit happier to know that you lived such a great life and with that smile too. You serve as a reminder of what one person can truly do. I love you for all that you are in this life and of course I love you even more now too. Rest in Peace Betty thank you for all that you are, we’re and always will be this smokes for you.
I am shy beyond words. Crippling shy. I think my anger comes when my inability to communicate in an effective manner interferes with my inability to speak. You wouldn’t think at 42 I could still be this way BUT trust me I am so awkward beyond belief.
The idea that some, correction, most will complain until their hearts content without committing to an inability to change. My head hurts but most days the pressure is too much so I just sit in silence and hope the naseauting presence moves away. Like a rat nawing on festered intestines I want nothing to do with it.
Don’t you think? I think way too much. I think we all do. Life was keep us wondering did we do the best we can? It’s not an easy confrontation to have with one self. There are so many reasons to ignore what is painful but it is the pain that we acquire when we fail to turn off the lights. I am scared of the dark and the things that people do when they think nobody is watching when they are the only ones left standing in the room. I like being alone. Nobody left to betray. Nobody left to hurt me and only myself to obey.
The simplest way to look at life is to look towards all the basics that have been provided to us. It’s our limitations of our mind that make this existence unbearable.
Somebody else died today. I mean of course they did. You got to live like there is no tomorrow cuz tomorrow is never promised so balls to the walls like we can’t fail and nobody else is watching. I used to live in a world where I was daddy’s little girl and now I am daddy’s most hated. Oh well sm I right? One day he will be gone and so will I be for that matter. I am scared for that day although it is coming much sooner than later. I can’t hide who it is I have come to know in life because truth be told I kind of like her.
Don’t humans ruin the human experience? In order for you to begin to see the value to life you have to be willing to sever appendages off that no longer serve you. Easier said than done isn’t it? That is where you have to disconnect yourself from those feelings. Feelings make us irrational as humans so learning to inhibit or numb the most volatile of feelings we have to learn what we have become and can no longer ignore.
I believe in me. Do you believe in me? Would it make a difference to me in any way if you told me that you don’t. It shouldn’t make q difference if I am to become the light I seek because in the end it should only be the light in me that matters. Not trying to state the obvious it’s not about your peace and how you are feeling its kinda more about me than it has ever been about you.