To My Angels

So to my angels and my guardians who sacrificed their life so that I can be here I feel you and I appreciate you for all that you have done. I know that watching me live my life couldn’t have been easy as I ignored all the signs and began my life on the run. Of course you couldn’t stop me from what I was destined to do but the pain became almost unbearable so I found comfort in all that was you.

Piss Poor Behaviour

It took dying to see where I was going and who I was becoming and I feared for my own existence and that of my son. If I kept on accepting piss poor behaviour and letting them slide for the devil that they have become then I am truly no better off. There are those that are just rampant with evil and it is truly for the best if you just let them go and be gone.

Time to Leave

Where do you go when you have no direction or guidance in a world that has taken everything away from you? My spouse would rather see me six feet under and that would be the same for most of my family that is still found spinning inside this world. I think it’s time I succumb to the wave that has been relentlessly hunting for me. I think then, and only then, I will become somebody who is in the end entirely me.

This Man Hates Me

This man hates me and I need to get away. I was hoping life would be a little different for me but it is hard not to feel betrayed. It is hard for me to feel safe around anybody after all the damage this man has done. He thinks it is funny to try and break me and drive me into a simmering rage. What women wants to hear over and over again how fat and lazy they are for their failing health and the fact they can not breathe. He thinks that what has plagued me for 3 decades should go away instantly and it doesn’t happen just like that.

How We Are Treated

I think it is the biggest tragedy and ultimate sin when we decide to set up limits and boundaries against the way somebody looks or how it is they wear their hair, if they have any to begin with. In the land of no identity why do we always obsess with bringing what one doesn’t have to the spotlight and everybody’s attention. We are all trying to live the best life that we can that is possible and we don’t need so much hate and shade to try and defeat us.

Lazy Sh*thead

I am told to eat my feelings and that nobody out there cares. Why keep on writing when nobody is interacting when all it is an outlet for me to try and hurt those that I love? In my mind I think that if those people actually loved me we wouldn’t be here and I would be writing about what ever World topics that day got on my nerves. The World is going to hell in a handbag and all I am trying to do is understand mine. I don’t think that I am a lazy sh*thead. Just extremely exhausted and heart broken of all the bad words and insults that this man over the years has said.

Love Or Sin

Love and light seems so easy but in all honesty it rarely is. There is something that burns so red hot inside of us that if not handled carefully can burn down entire villages and leave everybody singed. I think it is the confusion of not knowing where we are going or how we got here or how some people always seem to win that drives us mad. Not being content with what it is that we are given is the reason why most people start behaving bad. Truth? Think about it. We are a society who is always wanting more without putting anything in. What is the worst that can actually happen aside from committing one of those delightful seven sins.

Fairy Tales and Happy Endings

So those are my fears. What I gave up everything for maybe my eventual demise. That you can spend your whole life wishing for something and when you get it not all is as it seems. That there is no such thing as fairy tales and happy endings only the magic that you can bring alive from your heart. That the only peace I seem to find is when everything is broken and everything around me has fallen apart.

I See Bad People

People will ALWAYS do what is best for them and disregard the middle man. Who cares about the natural nature of relationships when we can sever all ties because there is plenty. I think about the shark who waits patiently for all the little minnows to feed on each other so they they will become big. Why feast on a million little ones who are swimming when you can take your time and wait for one that is more filling? For those of you content on spreading voracious rumours now that with me they will always come to a head. I can admit my failures and faults in this world now I am going to turn to you and ask you if you can do the same.

A Chance to Live

So what if I am hated because there is always the chance that I can be liked. I think that risk is worth everything in this long, drawn out journey we call life.