Month: April 2023

Despite What You Think

I felt that sting as I tried to get my barring’s in the world. There was a sense of fear and horror as I realized I had nowhere to go. I kept to myself. I always kept to myself. Anytime I began to trust somebody the ending just didn’t seem to play out right.

One Foot In the Grave

Growing up in the 90’s we were the generation to be heavily medicated. You weren’t cool unless you were prescribed something so we all became junked out instead. It was far easier to deal with ones emotions when one was numb inside. At least that is what I was told when the boy that I was seeing decided to sleep with everything that moved. It was my problem that my heart was broken and I was forced to do anything to stop those tears from falling too.

I Pity The Fool

I pity the fool who is always trying to impose their opinion. Shouldn’t they be more focused on themselves instead of the life that I am trying to live? If I can’t let go of the things that made me why are you allowed to be offended? These things didn’t happen to you nor would I wish them to so if you could gather up your things and move along that would be more than just ok.

A Daughter’s Love

The abuse that I endured was nothing. In fact it helped me realize my place. Without something so horrid happening to me I don’t think I would have the drive to want to save my face. It hurt knowing that for a small time a piece of me was thriving inside of me until the ultimate decision was made that it was her time to die.

What Breaks Me

How does one practice compassion when all they continuously get is a slap in the face? Rise up to the challenge of a new day except you over there, stand back and get out of the way. Isn’t that how it always happens sometimes. Somebody doesn’t like you so they use their power to try and influence another beings influence and say. Not to mention how they wreck havoc on one’s mind and brain.

I Feel Alone

All I wanted was a chance so I try to keep my head held high. I know there are days that will be sent to defeat me and I know that there is a chance that every day that I am going to cry. I perfected the art of crying silently so that nobody can ever hear my pain. I know what happens when weakness is exposed and I vowed never to have to live that way again.

Make It Make Sense

The mean people. The liars. The cheats. All those people who are just more focused on trying to defeat me. Not just me. They are coming after you too. They will do anything in their power trying to make it so that you believe. Believe that they are better than they truly are and that they have been sent here to help. Let me tell you from personal experience it is the ones that are too kind that will end up putting you through hell.

Falling Apart

All it takes is just a moment and I am thrown back under the weight of it all. I can feel my heart when it started to break apart forever being ripped right open and I can tell you the exact moment when my world fell apart.

A Disadvantage

I hated living alone hence why I would gravitate towards anybody. Feeling utterly worthless I would look for anybody just to fill up time and space. I didn’t value my existence all I was trying to do was finish the race. I would isolate myself from almost everybody because there was something in their psyche telling me that they weren’t ok.

My Role In Society

Our future is our children and only the most ignorant among us will believe anything different. They can feel the energy that you emit when you are around them cursing their existence and claims of how they robbed you of your youth. That is not who I want to be or even how I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered for getting others to believe in themselves and having that burning desires to live their lives full.