I cry when I am sad and I smile when I am happy but some times I black out and I know it is from all these medications. Crying in her office I thought oh god now I have done it. They will be back at my house before I am to take my child. I wish I didn’t say anything. Through tear rimmed eyes she looked at me and smized. Well as much as one can do in that moment. She had very kind eyes. I feel comfortable and confident with my mental health in her hands. Today is the day I take a gradual step down on my meds to see if the grass is truly greener on the other side.
We deserve to feel our most beautiful and free from the weight that others want to pass off on us. Here I promise to help you feel your most beautiful and I will always find a way to help. We are only here for a short time so we need to make the best of it so why not make the best of it will we can
Reach for a higher state of understanding, an awareness of self. You can feel when you expose yourself in this way. It is like the Universe has her hand on your back gently guiding you to that garden of euphoria. For the first time in a long time you feel at peace with your surroundings finally feeling the joy that was meant for you. Life was for the living and it is the love that is found deep inside of you.
Ignorance is bliss unless you want to be empowered. You can’t claim not knowing for every little thing. The true way to heal and bond in the way that life was meant to be is to stop feeding into the lies and pave your own way. Yes it is easier to do what we have already been conditioned to believe but in doing so I fail to feel and I fail to truly breathe. I want to feel all the things the good, bad and the ugly. If others had to endure this incredible pain then I want to do what I can to disperse it.
I figured out my place now, at least I think. Why should I carry the shame of what was done to you as it wasn’t done at my hand. Please let me kneel down before you and say how truly sorry that I am that this was all done to you. No disrespect. No impeding in your space at all in fact I want to honour you. I know I can’t instantly snap my fingers and make it all better. We were all lied to at one time. But the lies told to me gave you a future and the ones told to you were just a game.
Love is love. All be it by chance. The happiest people alive are the ones surrounded by love. It makes the most sense to want to destroy this most basic human connection because in absence of it is when greed and selfishness set in.
What if I am successful and I find myself standing where others do living the American dream? Isn’t all that risk worth it? What would you do for your family to be happy and not destroyed by the working mans dream? Would you take a risk at financial security or will you fade away into the background, end scene.
I love to be inspired and nothing leaves me more inspired than being exposed to another’s journey. We weren’t made to live alone. That was an urban legend they needed you to believe. They needed you to believe that in order to be successful you needed to live in the steepest tower and in isolation buying and cosumming more take out then necessary and living in the shadows of your former self.
I am not here to swindle anybody just to empower you in your life. I don’t want to shine alone in my journey I want to have you all shine too. My dream is to have a sorority for middle aged women where we can all come together and have a safe place. My dreams don’t come true until we are all safe preferably alone on our Island living our dreams.