Bullying should never be an issue but it constantly surrounds us. It doesn’t know race, sex or religion. The design of bullying is to hurt, to inflict pain on others to make yourself feel better. It’s born through hate, jealousy and by refusing to accept others for who we are. The worst feeling in the world is being attacked for who you are because somebody is trying to make their candle burn brighter by blowing out yours. My fear of writing about my experience is overcome with the desire to share my storey in the hopes maybe it will make a difference.
Nobody has to like you. It’s not our right to be accepted by everybody but it is our right to be able to go out into this world without retaliation for being who we are. My bullying storey starts about a year and a half ago and it ends today. I am taking their power away from preventing me to shine. I let them dictate what makes me happiest, and I am tired of being controlled and avoiding social situations out of fear of being attacked.
A year and a half ago while volunteering at a fundraiser and without any knowledge my bully was in the crowd slut shaming me. She announced to the crowd while I was performing, “Who brought the hooker?” She calles me slut, whore and a slew of other nastey names. What did I do to deserve this yoy might ask? The ONLY thing I did was have a conversation with another mutual friend over the items I was donating to the Fort McMurray fire. No conversation ever occurred between me and my bully. All she wanted was to make it impossible for me to be happy and enjoy myself out in the community amongst our mutual friends. She also recruited somebody else to make me feel terrible about myself.
Back then I didnt have a car so if I wanted to go to any of our group outings I would have to find a ride. One time one of her friends (I didnt know at the time) pretended to be my friend and invited me out. I got ready and waited for hours for her to arrive. The whole time she was like I am on my way but I was told they had zero intentions of bringing me, in fact they told others in my friend circle never to give me a ride anywhere.
The only choice I had was to isolate myself from the only friends I had known. Being the butt end of their jokes hurt but it made me realize I never wanted to be like them. I dont want to be friends with mean girls that think it’s ok to treat anybody poorly. After a year away I decided to enter the world I missed so much. I went with my head held high and with the confidence of knowing that no matter what happened sticking up for myself was important especially now that I am a mom.
Well within the hour I ran into her. Not on purpose I had already sent her a message apologizing for any and all of our misunderstandings to which she ignored. In front of our mutual friend she pipes up, “make that b*tch keep walking.” She had said other things but that’s all I heard. All I said was dont worry I had no plans to stop.
Writing this is hard but it is important for others to see that bullying impacts us all. Instead of living in peace and harmony she would rather I crawl under a rock and die. At the end of the day that’s not an option. I dont want to allow another person to keep trying to take away my happiness. Did it bother me? Of course but would I give her that power? Absolutely not. I am loved by some amazingly awesome people and I refuse to let a bully affect the way I treat the people I love or the way I live my life. Living like a hermit crab isnt an option but dressing like Ariel from the Little Mermaid still is. Writing about it is my way of letting it go, letting her go. I am stronger than any words and its in that strength I will surround myself with love.