Can you believe it is already day 6 of the challenge? How time flies when you are having fun am I right? Yesterday almost got to me. And that is the day to day of having a mental illness. You can have the best of days and they will be followed by the worst of them but all we can do is try to minimize our emotions to try and alleviate the impact they will of on ourselves and potentially the world. To touch a bit on the emotions of yesterday they were really trying to take me for a ride. Sometimes it is all you can do to put a smile on a try to go on with your day. My son caught me more than once with tears in my eyes and in those moments I was reminded of just how lucky I am to be his mom. The emotions of the day were driven by true love as my Aunt had so lovingly sent me a picture of my Grandparents in their youth sitting on the stairs of their house. I love them so much. They are the reason that I hope and pray there is something more to life after this. If I think about how I will never feel their love again it will reduce me to my knees and maybe just maybe this time I won’t be able to get up.

Food, it is the very basis of our love/hate relationship with ourselves and potentially others. I say others because nothing scorns a woman more than her womanly curved friend who don’t have to watch what is stuffed in her mouth compared to you the ever growing potato sack if you just breathe in the aroma. It is one of the 7 deadliest sins for a reason. When one controls their emotions with food they can begin to hoard and steal away food. At first you might feel pride in the stash that you have acquired.Their greed takes over their sub conscious as they lust after all the rich calories and more. After the consumption of too much food, and even worse if it is laden down heavy with fats and creams, all your 7 sins begin to ignite. You feel anger and hate towards yourself that you couldn’t control your eating. After consuming too many calories you feel sluggish and just want to lounge around and do nothing else. All of a sudden a bombshell enters the television screen and your emotions turn to envy and the hate for yourself rises up once more. Now with your emotions out of control you can’t contain what is rising up inside of you as you feel the only thing that will calm your nerves is more and more food. We have been given this chance at this life during this time and if we value our lives at the food we consume, well it just reconfirms the sad state of the world.

We sacrificed our existence for the almighty dollar. You can’t change my mind otherwise. Growing up we had a dinner time between 5 and 6. Dinner was always derived from the Food Pyramid. Usually a protein, veggies and a carbohydrate. Dessert was a bonus usually saved for a special occasion or in some cases just because. My parents had one of the biggest gardens I have ever seen complete with a raspberry bush and strawberries and tons of mountains to forage for blackberries, blueberries and even mushrooms!! Not to mention we had our cattle for beef and we even raised pigs for bacon and sausages. Growing up we learned a lot about sustainability and being healthy and I think as we age some of us tend to forget about all that. The way of a family meal was essential or at the very least required. It was the hub for all conversation before we retire to our own quarters of the house and begin the process all over again. I always thought the home cooked meal would be a part of my family but truth be told my husband doesn’t agree. It truly wouldn’t matter what I cook as he as an excuse for all things green and pretty much healthy. With that said I still prefer to cook for myself plus a tiny little terror. My son enjoys the process of food preparation and cooking so why deny him that pleasure and myself the nutrients am I right? My bachelorette days are over and besides it has long become my personal journey towards a healthy life.

When my weight skyrocketed in my 20’s I employed a very well educated personal trainer and nutritionist. Back then I looked at food as deprivation and not the source of fuel my body needs. We are a fast food nation and empty calories are always in play. Then there is the need for others to supplement with powders and freeze drying which in terms of time spent I can almost understand but time wasted….well that is up to the mind to decide. I have been guilty of looking towards the fastest alternative and have been employed by several chains. Luckily for me the reverse has happened and I hate to pay full price for something I used to get half off or while working free. My greenhouse has also encouraged me to lean towards more organic the things that I can grow with my hands. Like a return to dirt situation back to where it all began. When I consider the preparation that is entailed when it comes to preparing a healthy meal time is always a factor. Do I use my slow cooker (my preferred method) or do I prep and cook all in one hour. Time is the one thing I can always use more of and if I can find a healthier way sign me up!! So my next challenge at first appeared relatively easy but I want to stretch my mind and skills and prepare something I have yet to try. At least it gives me something to look forward to today among the chaos. Don’t you think?