With a Dip of the Toe

I come here to write to pour out the ashes from when my soul lights on fire. There are so many reasons to smile within a day interwoven with these spackles that like to stick around long past when they are overdue. My first sense I have learned to honour that of my own. To smile and allow the World to happen naturally. To absorb the vibrations and all those who are friend and those who are foe reveal themselves. They will. They always do. Have a controversial point of view that resonates from deep within you and watch how fast they fall like flies. Take note of those that support those thoughts that bare your soul. Those are the ones you need to honour. Like a fine thread of gold woven into a tapestry. The presence they have in your life is infinite. It catches a spark just when you needed to see it the most. My friends of gold I have few but I am certain of who they are. The love that comes from me when I think of how much they love and believe in me will always allow me to rise from the embers.

So now my life that I so selfishly was trying to destroy. To become a shell of my former self not willing to accept defeat. Imagine for a second having no self worth. Just a shell. A shadow of who you want to be but filled with the lies of what you want others to believe. You can always tell when somebody is hiding something. Living a life. They shine a little different.  Sometimes there is rust. That feeling you get that makes your blonde run cold. Honour that. At times those that take the time to feel jealousy, hate or contempt or actually missing something in themselves. I never fail to stop and appreciate something beautiful in my day. Be it something beautiful in nature, in my family or friends. Or the way the light shimmer’s just so. I am tired of those that pretend to sing your praises but when you turn the other cheek they come out talons filed so sharp to a point to strike you in the back. In your presence I will be cordial but now that there is no missed opportunities that would ever force me to voluntarily consume your presence. I have distanced myself for a purpose and happiness is what followed. Good riddance to the toxic waste that threatened to follow me this far. Luckily for me my soul is cleansed and my heart open to the new possibilities that can make their way my way.

Imagine giving somebody a second opportunity to tell you how much you suck. Let’s say you write a book and you ask for their opinion. They are jealous of how well you wrote and your potential that it may unleash. They tell you it is horrible it sucks and nobody would buy into such a thing. Against their better judgement you release it to the World anyways. What happens next is so much mutual love,  understanding and respect except for the one that you adore. Would your heart change less? Would you look at them a different way? Would you see yourself a little differently just because they fail to see what is to other’s so obvious. How long do you  say enough is enough and now is my time. Maybe not to shine and fully come out of the shadows but to live your life in the way it was intended. To live in happiness and peace.

How I define my happiness is completely different from the one that you have. To most common theme throughout history though is how some other class of civilization wanted to contort and disfigure the people they didn’t understand. Since the time we have learned to walk and evolve into a species we have always hated what we have been given. We couldn’t find happiness in just the ability of being able to feel and smell and laugh amongst those we loved. We perverted it in such a way. I still have to question those that have trillions and trillions of dollars. The ones who claim that they love “their people?” Do you? It is so much more than this sick twisted cover up the World has been destroyed from. Where did this idea of the elite free mason’s come from? Have you watched the movie the Skullz? About the secret society? How can you deny the possibility? Why on Earth would anybody want to have so much wealth and watch so many humans suffer? Those aren’t leaders? That isn’t royal behaviour? Dig, dig, dig and look for the answer don’t leave any stone unturned!

Know that ignorance will come with a heavy price! The heaviest. There is so much history that we are not privy to. So many life experiences that have happened in conditions we would be horrified to even spend a day in. Imagine that was your life. I see so many complaints about people not respecting social distancing, masks etc at stores, parks and beaches. I am so sad and heartbroken. The only thing I can think of doing is trying to be the magic that I remember of feeling when I was a little girl. It is so much more than the way Walt Disney made me feel when I was with my family huddled around our small T.V. There was just a loyalty that came in knowing that we all experienced the same life. The same scents, the same feels. Just remember how you used to feel when you were little especially if you came from a source of good roots. Don’t you want to honour those roots by trying to do good things.

I love the tranquil silence that comes with not understanding the language. I am never alone nor am I often without a smile. I have chosen those in my company wisely. They have added an infinite source of value or wisdom that would tarnish my soul without their presence. Life is meant to be lived. At least for today. I try to remind myself that as we transition from morn, noon or night. Right now life has a new meaning. Even if the water is still a tad cold to fully get in the water.



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