Yesterday was a day. It had to be. With so many stories of child abuse and neglect has made me sick. I feel it. Not to the extent that they endured my mind doesn’t allow me to go there. It’s called survival. Our minds will do anything to help us survive including trying to get us to believe that we would be saved. I wonder what a person needs to go through until they can admit defeat.
The air is thick don’t you think? It’s more than the potential of a lunar moon. What I feel is this air of loneliness from every being that has ever suffered. It is hard living at a time when we are made aware of crimes that other humans are capable of. DNA has made it so that we can maybe have some justice later on and hopefully deter potential criminals away from doing their crimes. DNA has provided us with some closure instead of turning some beings into made up, fictional characters where their story never ends. There are some souls that disappeared forever like their time here never existed. This must be a layover till our next destination because nothing else makes sense.
Walking on eggshells doesn’t help it just defers the negative attention onto somebody else. Some people can handle the weight of another’s misguided expectations and lies, others fold and crumble. What we fail to recognize is that we are all just random balls of energy trapped inside these lifeforms that was never meant to contain us. That is why some don’t get an opportunity to live these incredible lives. They are able to touch the hearts of millions or maybe they were only meant for one. Life has to have a reason because if it doesn’t we would cease to exist. Our bodies aren’t our thoughts and minds nor our heart and soul. Well technically we have our heart but I am talking about our core. As we die we turn cold. Our ethereal energy released back to the World and once again we are reunited and we become one. That is why man has become so obsessed with the orgasm. Once that peak has been reached you have a chance to feel what it means to once again be connected only to be gripped back to reality once again. If you cut off my finger I am still me. What hurts the most is all the wounds that nobody can see. The coward outwardly attacks another because it is them who is weak. They hate who they are inside and detest there own energy. They want others to feel what they feel because only then will they feel connected with the Universe. It is the same that ring trues for the monster that kills. They want to steal the essence, the life, the special source that makes you you but they can’t no one is able. That is why there is death and that is why there is mania. Man was never meant to steal our psyche but I think they long ago did when they made life nothing more but a game and made us compete against each other for basic necessities and in some grotesque circumstances they granted themselves the power to take our very lives. I hurt because I hope that one day when I move on from this form and join the rest of those who died before me I hope I get see all those Holocaust victims, the Slaves who died serving their masters captivity and all those Nameless Children. I try to imagine your last minutes looking into the eyes of the men who hurt you and failed you and I want to comfort you in your final hour. Somehow I believe foolishly if I live a better life I can heal some of that energy and maybe one day make moves towards making a better reality.
Be human hurts right now because I don’t know where I belong. In this point in time I just focus on what is passionate to me and try not to focus on the details. I feel the pain and all that blood spilled and I know full well that it nourished our soil that gave us enough grain and all the other crops that they replaced the living with. We get mad at the serial killer killing sex trade workers but turn our heads when it is our government killing our children. These are our children and that is where we have failed as human. When man engages in more inhuman acts than he has ever done good I get scared. All the conspiracy theories in the world make sense now and it is getting hard to eat. I don’t want to give my time or money to anybody who could fund or hurt another. I like to think of Darwin’s Theory of Relatively in that a species evolves in order to carry on life. Before I knew of melanin I always thought that the colour of our skin was due to sun exposure. Not on a daily but over time. Our skin adapts and is able to absorb some of the rays and how long we can handle out in the some depends on our DNA. Maybe melanin evolved over time depending on where we on the equator so wouldn’t that mean the darker the species the longer the time here on Earth. Maybe the White settler who stole all those slaves all those years ago is made because they themselves contributed to a super species of being. Isn’t that in turn what we see portrayed in the mainstream? Incredible athletic super powers and a stature to raise the game. We evolve to fit our needs so what does that say for the white man loosening his belt yet again as he flips over his receding hairline. So I am here existing in the Earth’s story as I work on a brighter tomorrow for you and I.