To Quantify Our Existence

So many of us have this misguided illusion that is entirely about how many breaths we take in this life. We forget about what truly matters as we strive to keep up with the Jones’s. We mock and ridicule anybody we don’t understand because it is far easier in doing so then taking a minute to try and find a common ground. Isn’t it better to steamroll your way through life then being the one to have the compassionate ear. When we strip down the outer layers of our being what is left on the inside is this shriveled up rotten core that you forgot to nurture. More to that in your haste to get to the finish line you have bitten any hand that has tried to feed you. Maybe out of fear but maybe more out of regret. We were all given the same tools once we came out of the womb. For some our journeys in life will naturally quantify our existence, for others the struggle will be a constant upwards battle like a sockeye salmon return in the Fall to spawn. For animals their life path is pretty easy. They strive to live the best lives possible while ensuring the longevity of their species. That’s the goal survival. I wonder why we as humans has this misguided belief and I wonder where it came from.

There would have been a time when there was no such thing as currency. Probably if you go further back there was no such thing as hate either. Everything monetary we created. Everything that has become common practice would be met with shock and disbelief. Imagine an artist painting in the confines of his studio. When natural light failed his candle light would burn on. The novelty that somebody would spend their entire life creating one momentous piece to now where the markets are flooded with prints. We can see the genuine disconnect from what we can do with our own hands to what we can get technology to do for us. We have become lazy in our approach to life. Everything has become Universal and mundane. Hidden by the belief that if everything remained stationary there would be no uproar. As a nation though we have lost our personality we have sold our soul. Where once we were more concerned with advancing we now have to move our concern towards total annihilation.

It started with our wanton disregard for life. We decided because animals don’t have a voice we can manipulate their existence to benefit us in some sort of way. We are the only civilization that engages in the torture of animals for science. Yes we may not test cosmetics anymore on our friends but we all know that animals have always played a sick twisted game for some as they journey through life. Yes animals, insects, amphibians are all incredibly interesting to look at but nobody wants to spend their whole lives in captivity. I understand there is a time in place for Zoo’s as for some animals they can not survive in the wild. I also can acknowledge that we has humans have this queer voyeur fascination with anything that doesn’t involve us. We are all fairly mobile these days. We should limit the amount of animals held in captivity by allowing these animals to live in one sanctuary where they can bond with another species to make their life not seem so dull. We all thrive on physical interaction and touch. We all need to feel love if only for a minute. Tell me that in a moment of despair that a pair of smiling eyes staring back at you filled with hope doesn’t distract you for even a minute.

The biggest fear I have in this life is death. It is the not knowing what is coming that makes me shake right down to my core. I also feel that maybe it can’t be too bad. There are so many of us that have made that journey and every single one of us will get there one day. It is hard to feel happy or sad in those terms. It makes me appreciate the moments that I have here but also excited for what is about to come. I appreciate my existence surrounded by so much life. There is something to say for the early morning tranquility as life begins to stir all around you. When you take the lives of those around you into perspective there is no denying we are all moving towards the same place. In not knowing the final destination doesn’t it make you want to try and get the most out of everyday? Maybe it is not about having the perfect hair or smile or co-ordinating outfit for the day. Maybe the beauty is in the artistic way you live each and everyday, always hopeful and brimming over with love. What we see on the outside is who we portray ourselves to be. It brings us an inner peace and calmness that gives us courage to face the day. There is something beautiful to be found in every life. If you are one of those who fails to see that then your focus should be on focusing on what is broken inside of you. Life is beautiful and precious and nobody has any right to rob you of one precious second of that.

I used to be extremely competitive. EXTREMELY. I have now learn that that drive was just an inward reflection of myself. A desire to be all that I can be and a little bit more. I want the love and adoration of my family. My grandparents, parents, siblings. It didn’t matter so much whether or not strangers could see the good in me. It mattered to me if I made them proud. So here I was competing my whole life for something materialistic when all I wanted was something that no time or money could ever buy. Competing provides a common goal in which like minded individuals come together. What needs to change is the desired outcome. My new challenge every time I take the stage is to be better than I was the time before. It doesn’t matter if I win a new crown or sash. The real win is in whether or not I made a life connection or not. I have come to realize that it isn’t about the number of breaths we take but the number moments that take our breath away. To quantify our existence is just a simple way of being. To not sweat the small stuff and to appreciate each and every moment.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. lemmontage says:

    Yes. One breath … and then another breath …
    I forget where I it. I like the idea that one moment contains more than the universe … maybe the same with one breath.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you


  2. lemmontage says:

    Yes. Treasure your son. Loving your son, your eye and heart on your son will get you through everything.
    We do have choices. You have chosen the life best for your son. Keep on keeping on loving.


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