A Mindless Clone

Watch for the one who stands alone. The one on the outside is usually standing on the outskirts based on personal choice. Yes, yes those in control of the inner circle will make you believe that the tale unfolded in a different way. She though, she knows the truth. She never fully wanted to stand amongst the weeds that were flourishing in their own shade. It’s funny how the truth hidden underneath the petticoat is not the story that is hitting each others ears. Snippets of information are being given to only those privy enough to receive them and all others are subject to be used and abused and thrown away in yesterday’s trash.

Imagine a bully who comes out of the shadows carrying nothing but shade. How can you respect anybody who has never let the truth escape her own lips. Try to preach to the angels but it falls upon deaf ears. The relevance of being relevant applies to only a few. Watch out for the wolves howling in the distance there is going to be a full moon tonight. My apprehension started when you listen to those preach about how honorable you are. How honorable do you have to be to be to allow one of your friends to stand out in the storm that you created. Every lightning bolt that crosses the sky hits her directly between the temples altering her state of mind and cognitive thought. Within each of us lies the power to not only to destroy ourselves but each other. We have evolved into a species that needs immediate gratification or at least an acknowledgement of our presence. The one with the chip on her shoulder with her nose in the air is usually the one with the most skeletons to share.

We are forced into a corner where we have to take everything at face value. We have to believe what is presented to us like it was the holy grail and not the web of lies that was so intricately spun. What seems believable is usually lies and the unbelievable the truth. I remember when I used to wear my heart and my sleeve and would talk for hours to anybody who would listen to my life story. When I was done I would get all the sympathy in the world only to be made fun of behind my back. Nobody wanted to believe that the world could be that cruel. When your life begins to bloom like a garden of roses the last thing you want in your company is a seemingly poisonous weed. I was harmless in the sense that I couldn’t imagine hurting anybody in the way that I was hurt. My selfless actions more often than not thrown in my face. I will never forget buying my best friend a pair of runners she so desperately wanted only to have her return the shoes and buy a case of beer and cigarettes instead. I remember asking her where the shoes were to which she replied her mother thought the gift was to expensive and to return it. Uhmmm ok and where is the money then? I think that was my first exposure to just how selfish we can all be when given the opportunity.

I wonder what makes us think that our shit don’t stink and that we should be granted higher opportunities than another. What if we got rid of what we deemed to be dead weight only to find out their value later. Do we get another chance? Has that shipped sailed? Think about that. You never truly know who the genuine one is in your life but you are forced to make a choice just the same. You have to clearly lay out your options before committing to that choice because there is no guarantee that the person you scorn is going to welcome you with open arms anyways. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. How many opportunities does one have to get it right. Shouldn’t it be a natural state of mind to want to see others succeed? We have gone virtual in this time and space and if we can’t get a proper handle on proper etiquette and transparency then we are all just waiting for a rude awakening. It’s like drinking all night and taking home that hot guy after fighting with your significant other. You think it is what you want at the time but halfway through the doing the nasty you sober up just enough to see exactly what it is you brought home. No matter if you stop at this time you forever severed the pure line that connected you and your now ex. Friendships run the same way. Break the trust of another and the damage is done. You will never repair the bond that made you two so special and so unique. Now your tepid, mediocre at best. You know now where their loyalty lies and it is not with you so it is time to move along.

Just because she stands alone doesn’t mean that she didn’t try. She tried to ask the questions to gain more experience to the world around here. She learned quickly who her friends were by the ridicule that she received. In fact she stands alone in silence watching the rest of the world go by. Of course she has crossed paths with other beautiful souls. Those souls she doesn’t need to worry about because their energy runs pure and illuminates the night sky. In times of desperation they provide the shelter from the night sky that she so desperately needs. We can’t always be expected to stand tall like a pillar of strength. It is ok to rely on others in the same way they have come to trust you. Standing alone isn’t the same as having nobody. it just means when push comes to shove you can handle it even if you come off the rails just a bit. You may expose yourself to those that truly aren’t worthy of knowing your truths. Their reaction will tell you all that it is you will ever need to know. I used to care so much about what those people thought of me. I see now that what I should have held up high on a pedestal was how I thought of me. I don’t need to be accepted by anyone to feel comfortable taking up space. The only person I need to remind myself of of their importance is me and only me. To stand in amongst the weeds or to be the only flower in the garden of my own serenity. I would rather blossom into my own image confident to stand alone then be accepted by your unreal ideology nothing more than a mindless clone.

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