Yesterday something incredible happened. I wouldn’t have believed it myself but I was there I felt the surge of energy. Well for starters I started reading regularly again. 25 pages with my morning coffee. My book of choice….crystals, please come and guide me to the light. Literally and figuratively and all things in between. If we are light and crystals reflect light what do you think that can all mean? You can’t hide in and amongst the shadows and expect to be rewarded. You have to try and apply all that you are, religiously and meticulously and watch all the warmth and light that flys by.

If you always do what you have always done how can you expect to expand and grow into anything else. Yes feeling down is easy but nothing makes your heart beam prouder than being the energy change in the room. To stand firm in your own roots of truth avoiding the poison that has been let loose to find you. Even Eve was betrayed by the snake in the trees which means the only truth you have lies firmly in yourself. Not deep inside me because that is up to me to control I am talking about the truth that lays deep inside of you. Nothing ruins the human experience faster than being human just look at your surroundings to know that this is true.

What I felt as I rushed to a friend’s house for an impromptu mani visit I was incredibly excited to be doing what I love. You know my deep connection to a perfectly polished hand and of course all the glitter, my Grandmother’s hands were always polished her whole life. The only time I didn’t see her hands polished was when she was in the hospital undergoing chemo and of course that is an image that I work hard at to ignore. I wish she was here so I can polish up her hands. I would love to just chat with her about her life and all that she has come to know. I can see her bundle of polish sitting on the kitchen table like a center piece and it sends a surge through my heart just like she was alive. So this perfectly polished look I know I can finally achieve again will be a part of my existence until the day I die. Born inside of me is this incredible desire to live a flamboyant, feminine existence the kind my Grandmother’s would have lived if they were financially able and became alive. So I became the light.

I became the light and I saw the light in everything. There was nothing more beautiful than the light inside of you and me. If you were alive than somewhere inside of you was this energy, be it your soul, your existence that makes you come alive. Without that energy you wouldn’t exist. It’s the light inside of you that is most beautiful not anything else. Not the clothes you wear or the way you wear you hair just the goodness that ignites deep inside of you. We all have that passion that makes this journey make more sense but we are so inundated from everything that has been going on. That incestuous way we will sell out our souls by not doing what truly pleases us. Scared of what others would say or maybe it’s a sneer or a snicker I know what it feels like when you are the center of all the whispers going around. The truth about whispers is their content usually has no sound, well at least have no value all depending whose ears they fall on.

As I drove to my girlfriend’s this energy over came and all the hairs on my arms and necks stood instantly up. In an instant I was overwhelmed. I felt that beauty in everything and began to see it in every one as I continued to drive on my way. My eyes instantly welled up with tears. Not because I was sad because I was so incredibly thankful for this beautiful moment in this existence that I now so humbly shared with all the life that I found surrounding me. The furthest thing I felt was sorrow but a pride for the light inside of me that was growing more powerful and I was finally able to share. That a light that remained off would become one’s biggest regret so with all things considering I have a lot of light inside of me yet.

The grotesque horrors that men insisted on portraying could no longer reach me. My goal now here on Earth would be to protect my lights energy that could only be found inside of me no one else. It’s not that it couldn’t be found but if we couldn’t validate somethings existence by sight wouldn’t we downplay it and say it doesn’t exist at all? I can’t hear your inner voice or see your inner child but that doesn’t mean that that entity doesn’t exist. How do you validate that being and know how to respond? It is impossible because we have failed all of our senses with our inability to get along. You have to close your eyes and feel the energy shift in the room. Be the light and the energy that is warming instead of being too cold and uncomfortable to know to feel.

You have to believe in energy. Einstein’s work was to prove it existed. His work dictated it doesn’t move it just changes form and history is littered with interpretation of what the existence of a soul could possibly mean. There is no denial of that entity that lays inside of us just what happens to us when we move on and it is that fear of unknowing that makes us easily manipulated. What man is capable of doing to each other when what we needed most was a friend. What makes us human in some releases a monster in the next and it is that evil entity that will always fear the light.