Another Spin

To own our own authenticity is something incredibly difficult to do. There are so many variables looking to pull us each and every way that it becomes a daunting and exhausting task. Before we know it all of our dreams are ripped away from us as we sit back and wait for the journey to begin where death comes for us and takes us back.

Should we be scared? No. How can we be scared when billions upon billions have moved through time before us and more to that there are even species that we have come to adore that are no longer and have come extinct. The same can be said for who we are and want to desire to become on the inside. There are those that are still in power of our destiny and are determined never to lose control.

Look at all the measures that have been put into place to try and control the population. This unrealistic set of standards that can never be met. What chance do we have when in the future those that were bullied become the greatest kind of bully as they try to push each other over the edge so their energy and essence becomes no more. Where is the example set in this and who are we to continuously pervert nature. What we do at the hands of beauty and viruality is just a reaffirmation how we have let ourselves go and lost control.

The only pounding I want to do is my footprints in the sand as I high tail it out of here never looking back at the ending that was never meant for me. I guess I could stand in a room full of a million or I can stand in a room when it is just me and I can feel like the most important girl in the world. Why allow the world to dull my shine and stand still until the dust settle because I still have breath left in my body until I start to turn cold.

Time will take everything from me and there is nothing I can do but focus and try to live in this moment instead of pushing to the limits what I can actually do. I will never be rich or famous or live that kind of lifestyle but I do try and live in the best image of my Grandmother and her Grandmother that came before her.

When I close my eyes that final time do I finally get to begin my ascent into the sky? Will I be lifted up to those who always cheered me on even though in life they never got to know me or will I be bound by the limitations I set forth for me when I was scared to come alive.

Imagine an existence where we weren’t always looking over our shoulders and others valued our individuality and our eccentricities instead of trying to pound it out of you because it is their fear that drives them not to understand. When the last breath is whispered because of the hands of somebody else I shudder to think if we could of done something if we all just took a second to think.

Who are we becoming when we let the toxicity of the world dictate to us telling us and taunting to be somebody else then whom we were born to be. Imagine that fear coming over you in that instant when a monster is finally born. Isn’t there something that can be done instead of killing a lover that is scorned. What happened to owning ones authenticity or do they become to angry at the truth. I hate the direction that the world is going and I am no longer privy to the information that I thought I knew.

All I know is that living gets tougher the older you get as you come to the realization all the things that get taken away as you age. The life you once knew becomes no longer and at times you don’t understand as to the reasons why. Instead of living your golden years being eternally thankful we tend to focus on all the things that nature and time are destined to take away.

A milestone as such as we close the door as to who we used to be. A new chapter is started without us even knowing and at times it becomes overwhelming as it is uncertain as to what it is we should be doing. Wait it out it seems to be the only answer we have until we no longer wake up. We live in a world where Betty White lived to be a hundred and even in the end she probably had enough.

She went to sleep not knowing it was coming with all future endeavors lost to the wind. Isn’t how crazy how fast slip through our fingers when we spend most our lives wondering exactly how our story is going to end.

All the people we used to know who no longer travel this Earth just makes us want to die. All the questions that we have with the answers that are never forthcoming takes everything inside of me not to throw the towel in and cry. It is overwhelming at times not knowing what the point of all this is. I wish it was easier to find some sort of peace and serenity instead of always wondering about things.

Striving to find my own truth I feel like I got hit over the head with a sledge hammer. I am tired, exhausted and no longer forth coming as I take a look around me and become shocked instead. The world as we know it is constantly changing and we can’t do a thing. The only question I have is do you let it ride or do you try and take it out for another spin?

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