Feelings Disguised

Imagine how different our lives would be if those who claim to love and support us actually do. Seriously. Anybody else tired of being taken advantage of by the assumption you will always be there? Me too Dahlings. I am tired of choking on their stale air.

Waiting around like a dog for a bone hoping for an inkling of love and respect to be turned your way. How different life could be and feel for the masses that exist tirelessly struggling to find a way to just hang on and survive.

There’s a fine line between what we were born to do and our destiny and sometimes our thoughts become complicated and intertwine between these two. Think about it tenderly and ask yourself does it matter if you become alone in this world? There are some magnificent beings who have given up their own destiny to tend to the needs of their family and all the beings that they love. Those beings if you come across are worth their weight in gold. The path that they find themselves on is one of complete devotion and pure love and they have no problems laying it all on the line even if it means giving up their own life way before their time.

You have to try and understand where others are coming from if you are to even have an inkling of what it is that they have in mind. Some people only care about what it is that the said action can do for their image with little care of the others that may inhabit this world. A dog will be tied to a pole in the middle of the night with only his dog dish and collar to keep him company when he catches a fright with his owner going on with their life like what they did was right. Then there are our elderly who get dropped off without a care and hardly a visit. Is this what we have to look forward to when we near the end of our lives?

People never think that there maybe consequences for their actions. That they can treat you any which way and you can never have your say. They will make you believe that blood is thicker than water but I need to ask you where are these people when you are hurting and you begin to bleed? The idea that I may have to tell my secrets again to only fall on deaf ears makes me insane. I would rather keep on those gnarly details of what happened to me and take them to my grave then be made to believe that my family cares about me. Correction. I do have a few who remember my name.

Every day is a new battle with almost one foot in the grave. Can I do what I have set out for myself to do before all that I have come to know just seemingly slips away? It has happened before and I will assume it will happen again but only if I allow it to so I will harden up and be on my way. I try to leave anyways but I will always hold onto hope. I hope that what the Universe still holds for me is unconditional love and understanding of what is good on this Earth.

To think that I would allow just anybody to come and tell me what is without even knowing my name is absolutely insane. I already get enough grief over the hand of cards that have been dealt to me why would I agree to taking on a new hand? If I already know about those that are out to get me why would I give them the space to realize that dream? Cut them off at the pass is what I always say don’t let them eat at your table and make sure to take away their dessert.

You will get a feel about those that are truly there for you and you will be able to better manage your time. I mean I have so much going on on the day to day that I don’t want to be around those that keep blowing smoke up my skirt. Well it depends on their purpose but more often than not they are out for #1 and I don’t mean you as being that person because in their heart you will always be at least #2. Think about what that means. You are merely sh*t in their heart and eyes. I can’t be one of those people who think that I am better than many when I barely feel accepted for all the things are me and I am tired of wearing a disguise.

Life could be incredibly easy if we just follow our heart and open our eyes. What good comes out of wanting to live a life devoid of isolation and all the lies. I think what we need most is acceptance in our hearts. Can we ever be good enough in our best image or will we always be wondering if we were worthy and capable of something more? I don’t want that worry if I am lucky to live into my golden years and age, do you?

Imagine having to reflect back on your life, wondering if you could do something more. I don’t want that feeling to weigh me down as I know what it all means when we lose and I can promise you life is worth fighting for. When you are left flat on your back with not even a care it is incredulous to see who is at your bedside when you come up for air. It’s hard to tell if they gravitate towards you out of curiosity or because they truly cared. Words are there to provide a false sense of comfort when our actions can’t back ourselves up. There are those who are truly there because they want to be a friend in your life instead of a beast who only shows up when they dare.

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