A Mediocre Life

My life feels pretty dull. Maybe mediocre at best. The more I try to get out of this rut that I find myself in, the deeper into it I fall.

There will always be those waiting in the shadows waiting to take you down. They don’t care so much what you do on the day to day but if you smile, there will be Hell to be found. You know those people. As soon as they get a sense that you feel like life just might be ok, they pull the rug right from out of you. I know what you mean.

It’s like the bigger my smile the more upset some people will become saying anything and doing everything to bring me down to their level. You have to know those people. The ones that are quick to report anything as your content being to offensive even though they have no idea the energy that was behind the post you made. Not everything is meant to be hurtful. Sometimes we post something because we are having a good day.

In my world every day is the same. I am surrounded by cats and there is always tons to clean. Come to think of it I think Cinderella lived exactly like this. My evil stepsisters being my annoying dogs, but they love me for me and everything that I am. I could spend my whole life cleaning this three-level house and there will still be dirt to be found if you know what I mean.

What makes life simple is the ability to live in the best image that we can. Sure, not every day will be perfect, most won’t be but at least we have this life to live so we should try and celebrate it. The ticking of the clock is what gets to me. To me life should mean something more. More than all the things we find ourselves busy with when we are constantly trying to even out the score.

What we can all agree on is we are in constant competition with ourselves to prove our own worth to people we don’t even know. The whole world is our oyster unless we have to share then it’s a no hold barred attitude, just off with their hair.

I keep to myself because it is easier to maintain there is no sense to worry and you sure as hell don’t have to play any games. I hate keeping score it is a horrible way to live. We should all be created equal in the beginning until society deems who is appropriate and begins to change all the rules.

A boring life is nothing if you think of all the other possibilities. I don’t spend any more time crying myself to sleep over what others have said because I cut them off and don’t let anybody else get that close to me. When you get to witness what a group of women is capable of all while holding torches and calling all the shots you would understand why it is I had to turn and go. If they can speak like that in front of your face just imagine the confidence, they will have when your back is turned.

There is no value anymore amongst each other and they would rather take the words of a stranger than recognizing the pain that is in your face. Ask yourself about morals and then you will have your answer, real beings don’t try to reduce others to their knees and eventually further below. Our minds our so fragile and our hearts are even more so, so we need to surround ourselves with beings that lift us up always, even more so before they go.

Trying to find the strength to keep going is one of the hardest things especially when there is nobody around you that is able to get your heart to sing. I think I feel lonely because I am void of most human contact and in place of some compassion the fear and anguish begins to set in. Nobody wants to hear constantly how they failed. It takes a toll on a person and leaves a hole in their soul.

Is there anything wrong with mediocre as long as we are happy I think it depends on the company you keep. Some beings will insist on being at the top of everybody while other’s are more comfortable allowing others to have all the control. I want to live differently but I am not sure that I can. I throw all I have into this life I created but others will tell you I have nothing, and I need to let go.

The fear, the agitation that we will all become nothing is the only sense of truth that we will ever need to know. That is true that one day we will be nobody to a world that is so current and that will hurt the most out of everything that we have come to know. Death escapes nobody and we only get this one chance. What would you do differently if you knew that you only had one more dance?

Is dull ok in this life that we have, or will we always be hoping and wishing that we could be somebody more? We don’t have to be anything but happy I wish more people would know. It is the higher ups that make it impossible for us to be happy and just live. One day soon, I hope, this structure that was designed will give.

Imagine a time where we all just lived simply now, we struggle for a reality where we can simply live. There is no telling which direction or life will take us all we have to do is take a deep breath in and go. I wish life was easy and that it all made sense, but I don’t think that will ever happen until we find ourselves Heaven sent.

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