Some teachings apon our children should serve as a reminder for adults. My favourtie lil saying of all time comes from a kids Spark group. The words, “I promise to share and be a friend.” So simple yet so far removed from who we are today. I keep witnessing first hand the side effects of those that are only moved by their own agenda. Sacrificing not only the mental well being but also the physical being as well. Once that being no longer serves a purpose they become discarded and tossed like yesterday’s news. Only we do one better. When we decide to toss we also decide to burn the garbage on the way down to ensure zero to lil possibility of having any self esteem. What once looked like a caring friend now looks like that very disease that we have been trying so desperately to steer away from. There are so many ways to decipher through this mist of misconception. The pure of heart will never waiver in knowing right from wrong. Yes the untrained heart wants to believe that people will behave in the way that we have grown accustomed to. We have this false sense of reality that as a friend they will always have our back. The reality for most though is once you have outlived your purpose in their World they have no sense for your being anymore.
The most obvious thing that I look for when deciding if the heart was in the right place is intention. What does the person benefit from when engaging in this activity. Is their profit to be made or is it just a fulfillment of the heart. There is no right way of being or wrong. There is just the being that you want to manifest to be. We all have these dreams and aspirations that we would love to follow. Some of us though will destroy others on the way up to the top. Others though will let the people around them rise and even be the ones standing at the bottom to help them fall. Take my Pin-Up contests. I love the beauty and magic that most ladies possess when taking the stage. I love that I have the ability to surround myself with these amazing ladies who all have these great hearts and artistic personna’s that speak to me through their inner essence. No words need to be transpired while in their presence. Basking in their aura I am free to embrace all that I am. There is no fear in being able to express yourself and I have found safety in all of their embrace. There are times when the weight of others fears takes a hold of me and tries to take me down. That is just my ego telling me that I am not worthy of an existence free of pain. My mind likes to corrupt my thinking trying to tell me that I don’t fit inor don’t belong. That is bound to happen when you are dealing with two energies polar opposite of each other. My only intention when I meet anybody out in the World is to make a connection that allows the other to feel that they are not alone in their existence. That it is ok to laugh, cry, to feel like you are at your wits end. It is ok because along your journey you have found beings of like minded existence that will give you the source of happiness to tie you over until your own returns.
My favourite random acts of kindness are with those that you don’t even know. Take my journey to Niagara Falls. I was feeling alone in the World. I was 3,400 miles away from my family. Which is a long distance away when you really need to cry and pour out your heart. I needed to release all the negative emotions that were taking over my thinking like a cancer. I couldn’t get away from the darkness that had a grip on me. I couldn’t believe just how narrow minded and selfish a group of people could be. No compassion. No concern. No kindness for those that they called friends. My heart hurt being surrounded by such a group. I need sanity. I needed freedom from my thoughts swirling in my head. I tried to take a selfie to capture the moment. A tourist from the Netherlands spotted my attempt and asked if he could take the picture for me. After he took the picture we stood in silence together admiring the beauty of the falls. We started with simple casual conversation. He was here on business. A prolonged business trip he never anticipated. He was supposed to travel home on Saturday but problems on the production line made it so he had to stay longer. It had been 5 days since he had a conversation other than work. The Netherlands was 6 hours ahead so the most he could hope for where e-mailed conversations. We both laughed and talked about how impersonal that was. Sitting there talking about the falls we connected on the most basic human level. That huan factor that tells us that we aren’t meant to be alone. Out of the thousand people walking by he was the one who walked by in that exact moment. Both of us benefitting from the most basic of human compassion. The Universe even when I felt the worst gave me a gift. If I didn’t open myself up to the idea of getting to know somebody knew that moment would have passed me buy. I learned he played the euphonium in a 20+ band. I learned what the euphonium was. We talked about life and what he experienced most whhile travelling all over the World. We talked about how he travelled all over the World but this was the first time he actually got to venture out and see his surroundings. We shared photos of our experiences and he helped redefine the way I looked at life.
Imagine your life being playing in a 20+ band made up of people who lived in your village. You go around and play and dance and inspire those around you to live their best versions of their lives. They play the classics but also know Bon Jovi. They just go out into the streets and play at festivals and allow the crowd of people to surround them all. They got asked to go to Austria and play at their biggest festivals there. This group was a mixture of all ages brought together by their love of music. In fact my new found friend from the Netherlands asked the band what they needed most and they said the euphonium or the trumpet. When he went to the music store and asked what he should learn they said trumpet was easiest so there he was learning the euphonium. Does that sound similiar. Here I am practicing my violin everyday and I found probably one of the only people at the Falls at night that started to play an instrument simply for the love of being able to make each other happy. We agreed that if I ever made it over to Europe we would meet up in Ireland. Me to fiddle and him to play the euphonium. What an incredible turn of events.
Life and it’s path tries to derail us at every turn. We have these incredible highs only to be thrust into the lowest of the lows. The lows are always temporary as are the highs. What is true though is they always come back around whether you want them to or not. That is what makes life the most difficult. The lows want to keep you there. It is far easier to control somebody when they are dictated by fear. We hold alot of fear subconcisouly. We are afraid of the unknown and we do gravitate towards people we do know. I though somehow gear towards the opposite. I feel this magnetic pull towards those that I don’t know. I know the stories of those around me. I know how my presence either helps or hinders their lives. My choice to either hold on or let go is mine. Those that I love will never suffer alone. Together we can weather the storm. Although it feel uncomfortable it becomes bareable because for the first time ever I realize that when I do go overboard I have the right hands holding out the life raft. I know that they won’t let me drown.
Now random acts of kindness or selfish ignorance. I will go with random acts of kindness because you just never know who might need it. You never truly know who needs to hear it and whose life you might save. My lows can be very crippling but I am not scared of them anymore. My vision for myself for the future is to keep searching for those that are like me. We may just never fit in or truly feel like we belong. What we do have though is each other. Isn’t that what we truly need. That one true person who is your ride or die. That will pull you out of the fire instead of dumping on the accelerant. That will tell you how important your existence is to their life and how beautiful you are inside and out. So for now even with the hint of a bad taste still left in my mouth I will go and expose myself to the World. I will continue to bare my soul to those around me as I have already been exposed. There is nothing in this World that can be said that will prevent me from rising above those that act selfishly. I will still be kind and I will still love freely no matter how much my heart breaks.