Is it just me or is there something wrong with the World. And if it isn’t the World does it mean that there is something wrong with me? I am so confused. The things that I think are so simple are they in fact? When was the last time you saw or experienced human compassion. I mean genuine human compassion. The kind that warms your heart and feeds your soul. Do random acts of kindness exist or do we only engage in them in order to gain likes on social media? Is the World that I am experiencing fake or is it my misguided interpretation of what is actuallly happening. It’s confusing to me. As I sit here watching TV with my child or movies etc they always have these incredible images of family, togetherness and love. Am I missing something? How does one get to enjoy these incredible experiences within their community and neighborhood. I have been active in my participation but it still seems somewhat guarded. Is this what’s happening? Or is it my projection of this that makes it feel this way?
Let me explore the reasons why I feel like this. Number one is easy and simple. The way we treat each other. I have experienced more bullying and more insults in my adult years then in any other time combined. This is what my child sees. This is what he is absorbing. The malicious intent of a few. Negativity breeds like wildfire and it infects our inner core. The opinion of some becomes our own opinion. We don’t know why it just seems right. Maybe its the struggle for popularity in our own minds. Trying to relive a part of our lives that has passed us by years ago. Maybe our midlife crisis are coming sooner. Lasting longer. I feel that fear of living a life unfulfilled. But then I wonder what that even means. Fulfilled to who? And to whose standards? Who’s is going to remember me when I am gone? My son? My friends? What happens when we are all gone? All this pettiness and fighting means nothing. Just imagine being 80 (let’s hope we all get that luxury. At least I think it is a blessing isn’t? ). Sitting on that porch swing looking at the youngest generation walking to school. What is it we are thinking about? We all carry regrets. There is no way around that. Every fork in the road we are going to ask ourselves why we never tried the other path. Are we supposed to? What are we even supposed to be doing in this life. All I see is a whole bunch of misery and hate and I can’t convince myself that this is the way it is supposed to be.
Then there is the ways we treat animals. ALL animals. Anything with a heartbeat has become disposable garbage to the human race. I see starving homelesss what use to be pets everywhere. In every country in every parts of the World. The only skill that we have truly perfected is the object of vanity and self fulfillment. Most people only spend their time taking from others. There are wonderful people in our communities that do the jobs that most of us can’t. They take in abused animals. Like really abused animals. They see the worst in what humans have to offer. To take a careless helpless being who can’t communitcate with us and bend and contort them to their will. I have seen the look of utter hopelessness in these animals eyes first hand. To see the first hand effects of what some humans can do. Or the ones who dispose of their pet like it was trash to be taken out the next day. Doesn’t your heart hurt even a little. There are no eyes in the World sadder than those of a broken pet. I can speak from experience we have rescued 15 animals. They all have the best food and love. They all though have come from the same place. Some were written off. We have one cat who was returned 2 times for being too needs. Yes she’s vocal and yes she’s always looking for snuggles but wouldn’t you? Imagine your family gave up on you. Wait that isn’t even a family now is it? True family always stands by no matter. There are ups and downs and if you are anything like me incredible mood swings but we all want to feel that no matter we are loved.
Can you wrap your head around this? Where is it in this life are you going that you can hit a little old lady at a cross walk and make her fly 15 feet and not even stop? That is what my husband saw yesterday morning downtown Calgary. Tell me is your life so valuable that it overrides everybody else in existence? How are we even supposed to find out the meaning of life when we have so lil disregard for those experiencing it. We have all this free will to make incredible things happen but we are still just about immediate self stimulation. I would call it gratification but based on the statuses I have been seeing lately nobody is happy…not for long anyways. We forget that there is great things to be said for human compassion and kindness. We were all somebody’s baby at one time. Imagine that poor helpless baby being bombarded with the 7 sins of the mortal World on a daily basis. The baby cries helpless looking for some relief of hope. That relief only comes from the kindness of other. We can journey this life alone but that would leave us feeling unfulfilled. We do better while bathed in love. Trust me on this.
Is there any meaning left at all to life. Something beyond your pocket book. That is all we care about these days. Money, money and more money. If we aren’t showing off then we must be miserable. I don’t even know what to share on social media anymore. I feel like am beyond that but I also want to reach out to more people. I have spent this past year really digging around who I am. What makes me tick. And what can I do to make my life better. I also had to ask myself who I truly wanted to make myself better for. I have also basically lived this last year in solitude. I felt that the energy I was harvesting was best to be identified in the safety of my own home. I mean I spent alot of time crying. Those that have known me previous hate me for how much crying I did. I was insulted because I just didn’t know how to deal with my emotions. Truth be told I was just coming into myself. I had this uncanny ability to actually feel the pain of those that I was around. My tears alot of the time came without a true understanding. Being dubbed a crybaby because you can feel somebody else’s broken heart is the worst. But here is what I learned. Those people casting stones truly need you the most. When you truly feel good about yourself you can’t help but spread the love. The reverse is true. When somebody is hurting and they don’t know how to communicate that hurt they can come across as cruel and mean. The most common feeling is jealously. It is natural as a woman to feel a tad bit of jealousy. Another thing that I learned was to turn that jealousy into a celebration. I mean don’t we all want to feel good. Don’t we all want to feel celebrated? Don’t we all want to feel loved?
So here’s the thing. Over the last lil bit this is what I have learned. This is speaking from myself. The kindest thing you can do for any woman is pay them a compliment. We can all use more confidence we can all use reassurance. We just want to feel good in our skins in a world that has constantly conditioned us against it. When was the last time you were complimented? I know sometimes it makes us feel weird and we end up saying weird things but usually those things lead to a conversation and maybe even a new friend. You never know who just needs to hear it. Change somebody’s day by lifting up their mood. It is obvious when somebody needs a lift. I remember walking to work and I could see this business guy a head of me wiping at his shoes apprehensively. As I walked by I made eye contact and said Great shoes! He looked at me and smiled and asked if I thought so and I said I truly do. That is it. That is all. You can tell those that need to hear it and those that will love to hear it. You, me and all of us have the power to make somebody’s day better. I wonder why we wouldn’t want to use it. Something so simple yet so taboo. I guess it really isn’t so hard for me to keep on doing what I am doing. I was about to say that I was tired of trying but I am truly not. I am not tired of living my life passionatley while empowering others. It seems to be maybe that is why we are all here anyways. Don’t you think?