The Transcendence of Time Into a Limitless Abyss

The only thing that is real, the only thing that holds truth is the vastness of time and the vastness of space. Nothing compares to it. It is limitless yet is has no features. It has never been caught nor bended to our will. These two single handedly control all of our fate with a finger snap or blink of the eye. We can’t outrun it but only succomb and allow the hands of time to do what they will as they begin to return us to original state. That is the journey of life right? To grow old and day. Every second, every minute, every hour that passes bring us nearer to the one fate that all of us fear. You might convince yourself that you are ready but are we ever ready to end this reality and move through to the next chapter. How can some of us be ready for that next stage but others fear it with every fiber of their being. How does one mentally prepare for that crossover. How much pain has to be inside and for how long before one decides it is time.

The answer to that is how are we to know the final thoughts that move through somebody’s mind. The hopeless regret of tomorrow. Are they being selfish? Does ending your own pain and suffering mean you loved those less around you are simply that you loved yourself more. All these thoughts enter my mind as I read the headlines of the 40 year old belgian paroylmpian who excelled in her sport. That would indidcate that no amount of success can fix the void in your heart that comes when faced with such a huge hurdle to overcome. I needed to know more about this beautiful woman who is no longer on with the Earth. Her name was Marieke Vervoort and she was born on May 10, 1979. Here we are both 40. In one storey one has burned so greatly the World took notice. The other is still waiting for that spark that will light up the night. One being has been laid to rest and the other is just getting up from hers. What an incredible World that we live in that all these stories run parallel to each other and it isn’t until the ceaseness of one that maybe we take into account the struggled that was endured. As she prepared for the Rio games in 2016 she indicated to several that this was her “last wish”. She had dystrophy that was diagnosed when he was 14. It caused her great pain in her muscles and bones and while others were out chasing boys, playing sports or shopping she became to adjust to her new normal. She was already incredibly gift in sports. A natural athlete she excelled in most sports.  As her conditioned worsened she became wheelchair bound then sealing her fate. Last night she choose euthansia to eleviate her from pain. She excelled in her life and now for the first time she has full control again. What a beautiful spirit handed a deck of cards with the missing kings. When I look at my day ahead into the vastness that is all possible I know that my day once materilized would never amount to the impact that her message can have on the World. To once stand on a podium and be adorned with a gold medal to succomb in to the nothingness at your own control. I don’t need to know you to know of you. The message of your fight for life and for your eventual release will serve as a reminder to me that the mind is a very powerful tool to not be used lightly. With the power of the mind we can almost will anything into being including our own end.

Suicide and euthansia both serve the same purpose but are on two different polar ends. One is becoming acceptable as a medical treatment and the other is still frowned apon with insecurity and hate. Euthansia is the only answer for some that are in incerdibly physical pain or a comple mental degenerate state. The problem with the mental degenerate state is it is usually impossible for them to communicate their wish. Even if they did we would just chalk it up as them not knowing or fully understanding what they want. Some people just need the release from this part of their life. Can you imagine having your own body shut down on you. Once close personal friends your body just decides for whatever reason to check out early. We can withstand losing body parts, limbs, eyes etc but it is the physical pain that endures that we can’t live with. Pain drives as crazy. It takes our ability away from having any sort of free thought. Physical pain will make you lash out at anybody for whatever reason but it still doesn’t make you feel any better. In fact it makes you feel worse. The embarassment of not being able to control your emotions takes over like wildfire. All of a sudden you are in incredible physcial and mental pain and the only way you can imagine it stopping is drugs. Hence the life of the addict the constant chase for a fix and the long enduring life of both mental and physical pain kicks in.

To live a life addicted to drugs is that any better. Drugs inhibits every little part of you. Yes you feel like you are floating on a cloud and nothing can touch you.  It’s that feeling of nothingness that subconsciously makes you chase death. That is in fact what you are doing everytime you are getting high. You are cheating death. Oddly enough those addicted to herion probably didn’t start there. They probably were prescribed opiates for some injury or ailment and with the opiade epidemic enter herion and fentynal. These are the killers. These are what makes an addict go crazed with madness. A madness that if not entertained will ravage their bodies with an illness that will cripple them in pain. How ironic that what began with pain now ends with pain. Where they once were receiving educated opinions from Doctors as they received their kickback from pharmaceutical companies. They now dance with the paramedics in a rush to save their life. Their initial problem that they wanted addressed now becomes a fight with life and death. The sad reality though is death usually always wins. The seductress of that illicit forbidden interaction will always entice wanting more.

Now enter another olympian Kelly Caitlin who at 23 decided to kill herself. She was in a cycling accident a few months before where she suffered from a concussion.  The force to her brain pushed her into a state of depression. The depression was so severe that she decided to take her own life. One needs to ask oneself how did the rise of such a bright shining star fall so fast.  How can your mind slip below even the slightest recognition of yourself. Did the impact sustain really result in all this? I hate to make such a bold accusation but why does it seem that once anybody enters into a hospital ward the diagnosis is depression and medication is then prescribed. I am all for medication I am on anxiety meds myself but I wonder if prescriptions were prescribed for a brain that only needed to heal did it somehow lead to the complete detoriation of a happily functioning mind. There isn’t to much mentioned about Kelly Caitlin on Wikipedia. It was more to show you the parallel of two women both at the peaks of their careers who in the end had the same fate.

No matter why the end of such beautiful lifes were cut short we will never have the answers for that. In one case her life was a constant battle. She did the best she could with the physcial restraints imposed apon her. The duration of your life doesn’t matter compared to the quality that you are getting back. I still have an incredible time imagining their final thoughts as they realized that this was it, it was time. The feeling of utter frustration mingled with despair only to be over taken by the bittersweet desire to finally be set free from the limitations that brought us to this point in the first place. Both ladies still had lots of life left meant buy the traditional interpretation of the meaning but by their own defintion were they finally able to find peace. The amount of suffering then doesn’t matter but to whom the suffering has been bestowed apon. some of us can withstand a great deal of physical and emotional turmoil before exhausting all options and landing on this final fate. A deeper understanding of what that means will never truly be understood. Our storey’s are all written differently by our own artistic manifestation. There is no right or wrong just a desire to change into the unknown and hopefully to engage in a transcendence in self that will finally set us free.

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