On Friday I had the extreme pleasure to travel to Vancouver for a photoshoot that I had won back in the summer. Originally we had wanted to travel as a family but this photographer is very sought after in the pinup community so not wanting it to expire we decided that it would be best if I just flew solo and return the same day. To most it would seem like a crazy busy trip but to me it felt so very glam and superstar and what 40 year old gets a chance to live that diva dream that we all have inside of us as little girls somewhere.
Imagine my mom brain trying to get it together at 3 am to catch a flight to do a photoshoot!!! Not one to appear under dressed I showed up in full pin-up attire minus the make-up and hair as we were instructed to wear light make-up and show up with clean hair.
Landing in Vancouver I wasn’t sure if any of my friends would show but I was determined to make the best of it and just let the natural course of the day unfold. First stop was to meet with the Western Canada Ovarian Society. This was a very important first stop as I am working on a project that is incredibly important to not only me but also to my friends. I of course being directionally challenged went the wrong way in heels. All the construction guys got a kick out of me that morning. Bright red and blue clicking around on the paved streets of downtown.
Trying to keep myself occupied after my meeting I went to Lougheed Centre. It was close enough to the shoot but it was only 10 am. There’s alot of time to kill before 1pm. Walking around the mall I noticed an IHOP so not one to say no to waffles or pancakes I found myself grabbing some breakfast.
After breakfast I had a few hours before my shoot so I headed down to Commercial for a walk around. On the train a lady sat beside me and we started chatting. I don’t know how it happened but we started chatting about age, babies etc it’s like your ovaries know what another female is thinking. It came up that I was turning 40 with an 18 month old. When she asked about my pregnancy i told her how horrible it was and both of us almost died. I saw the look on her face. She told me that that is not what she wanted to hear. She was turning 42 and was giving up hope. I told her never to give up hope on what she really wanted out of life. What happened to me was extremely rare that it was one in a million shot that had nothing to do with my age. I also told her that now even at 40 I was considering having one more child. Her stop was next and she thanked me for being me. She said my storey was uplifting and inspiring and I gave her hope.
It is amazing how much one conversation can impact your life. I decided right then and there I was going to do as much as possible to get my word out about helping low income shelters.
Off I went to my photoshoot to try and capture some great shots that I can only hope will help promote my cause. To me fundraising and being a mom is easy for me. I remember when I first announced to the world that we were expecting. One of my “friends” told me I was too old to be having children and that I wouldn’t be able to keep up. At first I felt nervous by what she was saying but then I knew everybody is different. To me I was just thankful to actually be having a baby. You know when you don’t think it’s ever possible it’s pretty much the biggest blessing. Of course nothing about motherhood has been normal for me. I was the glammed up doll heading to the NICU unit for the night shift. I had to dress up because it was the only way that I felt normal. Usually between 4am and 5am my hubby would pick me up and we would usually stop at McDonalds on the way home and try to sleep.
The desire to help animals and to follow my own path was always there. Suppressing it always seemed the easiest way to get out of bed in the morning. I was scared that my contribution wouldn’t mean anything that I couldn’t make a difference. You know how often I hear that…ALMOST every day. I understand I can’t save them all and maybe to the outside looking in I can’t save them all. To me though just saving one is enough and then the next one. If you constantly remind yourself at the enormity of the task at hand then probably nobody would try. I lived the first 40 year not trying and so far I think I have been successful. We helped 33 dogs, 11 cats, got food donations and raised almost $1,000. It’s not alot but it’s a start and considering we only started fostering at the end of October I think we are doing pretty good.
Being scared to stand out and be heard is just the natural order of things these days. There’s always backlash or somebody with the opposite opinion. There will always be hurdles to overcome you just have to find a way to adapt. If I would have stopped at the first hurdle I wouldn’t be where I am today. My mind is sharp I have been through alot, I feel young and able to conquer the world (my world ;)). I know I am making progress, I am better than I was yesterday and will continue to trend upwards with every passing day. I am telling you 40’s can be your new 20’s. Just change your mindset and live like you could never fail!