The problem with finding ones own purpose is we get so easily confused along the way. We like what others are doing or what they are saying so we get disoriented on our journey and decide that maybe we want to stay.

Life moves so fast as we constantly forget the concept of time. I know that I am always watching the hands tick onwards scared of what is to come and exactly what it is that I have left behind. Aging out is scary isn’t it. If you live in a shelter you are one that is next in line. Not to sure when your next meal is coming or even if you have a place to lay your head you wonder why it is your life has come to this and how long before you find yourself dead.

That’s the fear isn’t it? Not realizing our truest potential before we run out of time. I think that is what keeps moving along even though nobody lifts their head up to notice me. I am too scared of becoming obsolete that only other monsters can see.

Feed on the weak because they don’t have the strength to resist. I can’t believe how many people prefer to live a life like this. No being is off limits when it comes to getting what they believe that they should be entitled too. No regard for all the others that this life has ceased to be.

I think we had one mission. To try to get along and live abundantly. I don’t see why there needs to be some that are so wealthy and others with nothing at all. I wish I could do more to help people but in the end I truly am a nobody so it takes everything inside of me just to hold on.

Who cares about what I say or how I feel about today or anybody I just one person who wishes the world would change before it is my time to move on. I wish I could make a better world for my son and his family that is to be but I am just one person in this increasingly growing world.

So does life make sense? I don’t think so. Look at everything we keep doing that proves we don’t care about anybody and you yourself will wonder how it is we can even continue to go on. There is a war taking away thousands of innocent beings from having a future and a happy ending but you wouldn’t know it by taking a look at the other side of the world.

I need to believe that if enough people took notice then change can happen but I don’t think anything will happen as long as we keep our heads in the sand. Ignorance is bliss until it prevents our livelihood then we will do whatever means necessary to make our ends meet.

I wonder if there was ever a time where we cared about our neighbours. I know my neighbours are horrible ogres that believe that they own the land. They turn their noses up anytime anybody looks differently which indicates to me the hatred that rules their heart giving them what they believe to be the upper hand.

What kind of people trespass onto another person’s property to let their dogs out so they can sit back and watch? My neighbours that is who so I always look over my shoulder with huge distrust. I mean I have been in the general vicinity of people who have hated me but never have I witnessed a woman quite like this. Her goal that day as she watched my dog run away was to show me who was in control of these streets. Of course she believed that she ruled the roost citing that she owned her house and property way longer than my husband and me.

That is who we share our time with, beings who believe that they are more entitled than everybody that they see. I knew that there was those that lived like they deserved more than average family but never have I seen a family quite like these.

She used to come out and tell off my mother in law for parking on HER side of her street. I got scared to invite anybody over because I didn’t want them to have to deal with her. I kid you not when I used to do spa services in my basement she would be yelling at my clients threatening that she was going to call the city. Imagine that sort of lifestyle makes me want to run into the woods and hide. If these are the beings that I have to live beside maybe it is better if I just roll over and die.

I hate those beings that make it so that we have to live incredibly differently to scared to go outside and step into the sunshine. I still remember all the insults that she called me all while I was asking why she would do something like this to me. All she could do was yell at me telling me I was brain dead from all the bleach and that my dog deserved nothing more than to be put to sleep.

I would never be like that. Looking for something to insult, another being instead of trying to build somebody up. I don’t know why she decided that day that she wanted to be an emotional vampire sucking out all the good energy inside of me. In fact I am the exact opposite. Looking for that one insecurity so I can lift and build another up. It’s easy to figure out. Just look to see the way in which they tilt their head. Their own eyeline will guide you. This I am more than sure. I have seen it happen more than once on the day to day so I pick that one thing to compliment. I think that just maybe my purpose in life. To help make somebody’s situation better instead of making it epically worse.